Shame, Identity and the Right to Be Yourself | Why Care? Live in partnership with Athena Effect

Written By Falah Ahmad

In this special live episode of Why Care?, recorded at Dame Kelly Holmes’ Annual Women’s Celebration Event - Athena Effect, Nadia Nagamootoo is joined by Linda Riley, Raga D’silva, and Vikki Feltham for a powerful conversation on identity, shame, visibility, and what it takes to live truthfully in a world shaped by expectations.

Together, they explore the pressure to stay hidden, the cost of being judged by systems and society, and the courage it takes to reject shame and define yourself on your own terms. From activism and allyship to illness, recovery, and self-acceptance, each guest shares deeply personal reflections on being seen, being underestimated, and choosing authenticity anyway.

This is a conversation about what happens when women stop shrinking, stop apologising, and start living fully as themselves.

What you’ll learn from this episode

  • Why shame loses power when people stop defining themselves through other people’s judgments.

  • How social systems and cultural expectations can force people to live hidden or fragmented lives.

  • Why visibility can be risky, but also freeing.

  • What allyship looks like when it moves from support in theory to action in practice.

  • How assumptions about appearance, identity, and vulnerability limit people.

  • Why listening without judgment is one of the most meaningful ways to show up for others.

Key Takeaways

  • Authenticity often comes with risk, but hiding can carry its own long-term cost. Raga speaks about years of living multiple identities before deciding she could no longer stay hidden.

  • Shame begins to loosen when people reconnect with their own worth rather than external expectations. Vikki reflects on surviving cancer, rebuilding trust in her body, and no longer seeing herself as someone to hide.

  • Allyship matters most when allies speak up, not just listen quietly. Linda makes a direct call for stronger ally support, especially when LGBTQIA+ communities are forced to defend themselves alone.

  • Inclusion conversations become more powerful when they are open, human, and psychologically safe, which is exactly how Why Care? Live is positioned in the concept brochure.

  • The closing message of the panel is simple and strong: listen without judgment, question your assumptions, and help shape change through everyday actions.

Links

Falah Ahmad
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